I’ve been present for scores of departures. It is so normal for family members and staff to be so focused on the body. The counting of breaths, taking of pulse, concerned looks as the rhythmic cadence of the rising chest speaks out to the room. As I sit quietly and observe the onlookers I’m constantly reminded that the whole body process is so unimportant in the grand scheme of the death experience.
It is primarily a Spiritual experience, for us and for them. We have, however, been so focused on the body for so long, it is normal to consider that physical only in the death process.
My word to families now is to just relax. Play some music, be at peace, just let go. That is what the departing is about to do and that is what the family needs to do as well. Our just in time, on demand, at the click of a button world has no congruence to what takes place before us as the body is shutting down.
The best we can do for ourselves and for our family members is to leave our instant gratification world behind and fall into the experience of the departure. Maybe if we could get our focus off the body we might actually become open enough to hear what our loved one is trying to say to us and they are about to take flight.
I wish you all good things.